2013 — I changed jobs for what I thought was a better opportunity for us just to quit after 6 months to go back to school. The boyfriend and 8 moved into our own place and just kept keeping on.
2014 — The year of change for us. January brought a new job for him which led to crazy hours and a whole lot of adjusting but we made it work. Then in February we got the most wonderful and amazing surprise of a lifetime.
We. Were. Finally. Pregnant.
I don’t know what God had up his sleeve, but he knows that even miracles take a little time. My cycles never regulated out, thank you endometriosis so I thought I was further along and due in August but really was due on October 6th.
May meant college graduation and 10 weeks of clinicals and commute for my pregnant self. Talk about rough. I ended up in labor and delivery more times than I’d have liked, but a healthy baby was our goal.
September approached and we were in the home stretch of baby baking. Shit was getting real. Also, after almost 6 years together we decided to say I do in the most perfect way on a warm Sunday afternoon.
On October 1st at 11:18am, the most perfect blonde haired baby boy was brought into this world. He is my heart and soul, my reason to live and my everything. Hard to believe that he just turned TWO!!
2015 — A sad year for us. We moved, Hubster’s work slowed way down and we struggled. Hard. My grandfather passed away in July. In August we found out we were pregnant with our second baby, but lost it on October 12th. My mom almost died. It was a rough one.
2016 — I made the decision to go back to work and it by far was the hardest thing I ever had to do. That job didn’t pan out and I took another one close to home that was less hours and more time at home with my family. I also started having pelvic pain again and irregular cycles but I was brushed off by my obgyn. So long story short, (I’ll save the whole detailed account for another post) I’m scheduled for a hysterectomy November 1st. It’s not something I want, but have no choice in the matter.
So that’s all folks, if you’ve made it this far you deserve a tall glass of bubbly. You’re more than welcome to follow me on this rollercoaster of a ride.
Sorry for being MIA for awhile guys. So much has been going on that I just haven’t had time to blog. Hoping to get back to doing this almost daily if not weekly.
So to briefly sum up the last 2 months:
No infertility coverage through my ins
Endo pain has been hit or miss
Now have high blood pressure
My grandfather has been sick and in and out of the hospital since mid December. We almost lost him.
I hate my job
That’s about it. I’ll get more into detail when I have time and not at work
I’ll get into
Thursday was CD 11 and also my follicle scan. My appointment was at 9 but because the ultrasound tech isn’t usually in the office on Thursday mornings, I had to wait almost an hour to be seen because she had to run over to the hospital and do her morning routine. This, of course, pissed me off and made my anxiety just a little bit worse. Why not schedule my appointment at 10 then?? I was just ready to be violated by the ultrasound wand, find out if the Clomid was doing it’s job and be on my way to work. If you don’t already know, my left ovary was removed in 2009 during a laparoscopy because was just too bad and it had mangled the little guy. So I thought easy peasy lemon squeezy, only one ovary so it won’t take as long and my adhesions and endo was removed just a month and a half ago so no problems right? Wrong. As I was laying there watching my lady parts on the monitor it hit me. Lefty, my problem ovary, was the one who produced most of the follicles and they grew to the size they should’ve on the Clomid. Righty just never seemed to co-operate. I was hoping that maybe it would pick up lefty’s slack, but once again I was wrong. Righty only had 2 follicles, a 6 and a 9mm on CD 11 and my heart sank. They also found a fibroid on my cervix but there is no concern with it at this point. My lining wasn’t even as thick as it should’ve been which makes me think we (the nurse at Dr.D’s office and me) were incorrect on when exactly CD 1 was. It doesn’t matter now though because it’s over and done with. I can’t go back and change when I took Clomid.
Monday is CD 15 (or maybe 13 since I’m not so sure now) and I go back for another scan. Fingers crossed that Righty has heard me talking to her and those two small follices are ripe and ready. If not, then this cycle is scrapped and next month it’s 100 mg of Clomid. I mentioned to Dr. D that last time we tried this I was up to 150 mg but he doesn’t think we’ll need to go that high because of the 2000mg of Metformin I seem to be tolerating on a daily basis. Here’s to hope, prayers and just a little baby dust.
If the medication has any possibility of giving me side effects you can bet your sweet ass I’ll have some if not most of them.
First and foremost, I am not one to take meds unless I absolutely have to. I have someone in my family very close to me who struggles with addiction to pain meds and I want no parts of ending up that way. My endo pain has to be a 15 on a scale of 1 to 10 before I’ll take the Percocet that is prescribed to me. A whole one knocks me out within an hour and once I wake up I suffer with trying to stay awake and am unable to function for almost a good 12 hours.
Depo-provera dropped my estrogen so low I was angry and crying all the time. The estrogen patch I was on to help with that gave me hot flashes, mood swings, and irritability. The post-op antibiotics gave me severe diarrhea and stomach upset. The Metformin did also until my body was use to it. It also made me dizzy and nauseous for the first two weeks. Clomid has given me hot flashes, dizziness, left me crying uncontrollably for 3 out of the 5 days I’ve taken it and a horrendous headache that I’ve had for almost 18 hours straight. Mind you, this was just 50mg. I hate to see what it’ll be like if its increased, which I’m sure it will be. So much for miss optimism right??
With as weird as my body has been I didn’t know when CD1 would arrive. Counting my bcp’s I knew that it could’ve been anywere between Monday (11/5) and Thursday (11/8). Factor in the crazy spotting I had from Thursday until Saturday, and I didn’t know which day was what. On Monday it all started again, but I was almost certain that was CD1. I waited until yesterday to be sure and called Dr. D’s office hoping to get some answers so I could start Clomid on CD3 and schedule my CD10 follicle scan. Between the nurse and I, we determined that Monday was indeed CD1 and I should have my scan on Wednesday the 14th. Well, they don’t have an ultrasound tech on Wednesdays so I have to wait until Thursday the 15th and that made me a little uneasy. I really think that maybe I should just look into an RE, but I have no idea how to go about it. Anywho, I’ll have to keep myself occupied for the next week and stock up on OPK’s. I thought about charting my temp, but the last time around I was so bad at remembering to take it that I decided to wait. I know its a shot in the dark for this to work for us on the first try, but it would be a wonderful Christmas gift for us to be able to share with our families. I apologized to the boyfriend last night because I know that the baby fever has hit and I’m going to be worrying and obsessing like most of us ladies do. I just hope we’re strong enough to make it through this journey together.
Being back to work was rough for the first few days. I had a hard time sitting and being comfortable in my desk chair and just when I thought I was okay I’d have to move again. Speaking of that, getting up and down to go to the fax machine, file papers or even venture to the bathroom was a struggle also. By Wednesday (10/31) I was slowly working myself back into the swing of things although I was still so unbelievably tired by 7 pm that ll I wanted to do was come home and sleep. Thursday was going well, until I went to the bathroom and noticed I was spotting. I chalked it up to work related stress just because I couldn’t be starting my period. I still had 5 days of active birth control pills to take. Friday brought on really bad cramping and pain and I had a rush of bleeding so I immediately freaked out and called Dr. D’s office. He (of course) was out of the office until Monday so the only thing the nurse suggested was to monitor my pain and bleeding and if it was worse to go to the hospital. Like Hell! Fuck that! The emergency room isn’t going to do anything for me, because they never do. They usually give me a pain shot and some nausea medication and tell me to see my doctor anyway. They don’t understand Endometriosis and the last time I had to make a middle of the night visit they didn’t even know what endo was. I shouldn’t have to explain to a medical professional what my disease is. End. Of. Story. But I digress… the bleeding became spotting and the spotting became non-existent until Saturday but it went away just about as quickly as it arrived. Sunday I was in a tremendous amount of pain. So much so I laid in bed most of the day drugged up on Vicodin. I knew I overdid it Saturday, but for the first time in a long time I actually felt like cleaning and organizing. Big mistake. I just want to enjoy life again and do the everyday things I use to be able to do before the endo was so out of control that it started to take over my life.
Friday’s appointment with Dr. D went well. The bleeding has finally stopped and even though i still have some pain an discomfort he’s allowing me to return to work tomorrow. He also gave me the clomid prescription and told me to call on day 10 for my follicle scan because now (right after surgery) is my best chance to get pregnant because my right ovary and tube look so well. Still not too sure how its all going to fit into my work schedule but I’ll figure it out.
I’m dreading going back to work tomorrow. Hurricane Sandy is going to pound the East Coast and we have several offices and headquarters that will be affected, my office included also even though we are several hundreds if not thousands of miles away from the ocean. Once it moves inland it’s suppose to head right for us so they’ve already posted flood watches and extreme high wind warnings starting at noon tomorrow. I’m also not looking forward to going back and trying to fit into the swing of things. I haven’t been with this company very long and am afraid I won’t remember all that I learned before surgery. I also haven’t felt well today. Lots of pain, anxiety and an upset stomach which worries me because the last thing I want to do is end up sick on my way to work or while I’m there. So i guess its bedtime. Hopefully I’ll fall asleep quick and stay asleep. Nighty night. xoxo